From then to now.

Ive been thinking;

In my life i have grown from a mear spec of life in my mothers uterus to the man i like to consider myself now. It is not an easy task growing up, nor is maturing as you do, but if you are lucky enough and try to understand the world as it is presented to you, one can reach the unthinkable.

In my life i have studied. Not much more, and as ive studied something once, twice three times and a million, i have seen that although the subject doesnt change, my view of it does, and in a great deal. Someone could have asked me what i wanted to be just two years ago and i would have sighed and given them a gesture of incomprehention and resent; now i would not hesitate in saying "i want to be an angineer". Why? It is simple, for all the time and subjects i have studied throughout my life i have taken one feeling that everyone of them has induced in me, and that is wanting to know how? How is it this works? Why is this so and not another way?

Mathematics has been wierd to me in this way always. Never knowing how its is that a formula might work, i just learned it and thats what i needed to know for now. I wanted to know how i would be able to use all this information that i kept storing in my brain, taking up "the space in there" as if it were a computers memory. I am proud and exited to say that it is now that i see the application, it is now when i see that all the stored and abandoned knowlage in my brain is realy going to set me in this world as someone who might offer a thing or two of his own to it, not just by working as part of another process, or as a mear link in the chain, but as an outgoing, truly capable individual with the potencial of creating. Creating, creating something which might make the world a better place, or a safer place, or even making the world another place to be since we can settle the moon, or mars. Mathematics are numbers, human representations and methods that have been found to work applied to our reality and through which we have accomplished so much. I want to learn math. I want to have a method i understand and therefore can apply to a practical case, not neccesserily in my job, but in my life. An engineer is one in and out of work, or university; an engineer is someone who is able to use all the knowlage in his brain and ingeniusly dedicate it to making a great machine or mechanism, fuel or other invention. I want to be an engineer because i want to know my reality, i will have the answers to the questions i had when i was studying math in school, understanding it, and much more.

Being great is not a matter of speed but a matter of durability, and he who is able to endure the long learning process, gaining speed on the way, will surely discover the world, and those who lie in it.